When you are considering being intimate with someone, it is helpful to have this conversation first. RBDSM is a framework for having it. Five letters, five areas: Relationship, Boundaries, Desires, Sexual Health, Meaning. I teach it with two more attached, Aftercare and Trauma awareness, which makes it RBDSM+AT. Those last two are usually presented as optional extras, and they are where I see most of the actual injury happen. What someone needs afterwards, and what their body already carries...

Well, it's not an orgy. We can start there. We've had many conversations with people about our Queer Women's Temple nights. Some rejoice that this finally exists. Most are tentative, and plenty have no idea what the hell this even is.

A temple is an intentional space where you get to practice your yes and no, meet joy and bliss and ecstasy, and soften the shame that has held you separate from yourself, others, and the living world.