When Therapy Isn’t Safe: Decolonising Mental Health for Marginalised People

By Lisa Nelson

Content note: This piece includes personal reflections on sexual violence, therapy-related harm, and discrimination in mental health systems. Please read with care and skip if you’re not in a space to engage.

What happens when the space meant to heal you becomes another site of harm?

Seeking support can feel like navigating a minefield, especially when our identities or relationships challenge societal norms. For those of us who are queer, trans, neurodivergent, polyamorous/nonmonogamous, differently abled, sex workers, or people of colour, the fear isn’t just about finding help. It’s about finding someone who sees us, values us, and truly understands the complexity of our lives.

I’ve felt this acutely.

When Safe Spaces Aren’t Safe

Years ago, I sought therapy after a traumatic sexual assault. I sat across from a psychologist, vulnerable and raw, hoping for compassion and understanding. Instead, they looked at me and said: “Are you sure you said no? Maybe he was confused?”

The implication was chilling—that my nonmonogamous orientation had somehow blurred the lines of consent. They went further, suggesting that I might have only decided it was rape after the fact, because of my “unconventional” lifestyle.

The irony was heartbreaking. Police officers and medics—professions not known for sensitivity—had been unwaveringly supportive. Yet here I was, in the office of a somatic trauma specialist, being blamed for my assault as if my identity disqualified me from being seen as a victim.

This wasn’t just a therapeutic failure. It was an act of violence. One that echoed the structural bias embedded in mainstream mental health.

The Hidden Harm in Therapy for Marginalised People

This is not an isolated experience. I’ve worked with clients—many of them LGBTQIA+, sex workers, nonmonogamous folks, and neurodivergent people—who were dismissed, misdiagnosed, or retraumatised by clinicians who couldn’t hold the fullness of their lives.

One therapist refused to support a conscious uncoupling unless my partner and I agreed to reconcile, unable to imagine a loving relationship outside monogamy. Another client, a Black sex worker, was pathologised for their resilience and self-trust. These aren’t missteps; they are systemic.

Psychology’s Colonial Legacy

Psychology, as a discipline, has long upheld systems of oppression. Rooted in Eurocentric, white, cisheteronormative frameworks, it was often used to pathologise and control.

From racist justifications for eugenics and segregation to ableist frameworks that labelled neurodivergent and disabled people as broken—these histories aren’t “in the past.” They echo in the therapy room today. They show up in the therapist who doesn’t understand code-switching, the one who assumes polyamory is a trauma response, or the one who freezes when a client says they’re a sex worker.

Reclaiming Healing: Decolonisation and Reindigenisation

Decolonising mental health means questioning the very foundations of what we call “wellbeing.” It asks: Who defined the standard? Who was excluded?

Reindigenisation invites us back into relationship with ancestral wisdom, land-based practices, and collective ways of healing that centre community, ceremony, and spirit. It honours storytelling, body-knowing, and spiritual technologies that colonisation tried to erase.

This path isn’t about rejecting all of psychology—it’s about transforming it. About unlearning shame, dismantling internalised oppression, and reclaiming healing that is liberatory, relational, and rooted.

Healing on Our Terms

Many of us are done twisting ourselves to fit systems that were never built for us. Queer and trans clients deserve more than tolerance—they deserve celebration. Neurodivergent people deserve therapists who speak their language, not ones who force them to perform neurotypicality. Sex workers deserve support without moral panic or projection.

Healing is not about fixing what’s wrong with us. It’s about remembering what’s right with us—and creating spaces where our full selves can be held, witnessed, and honoured.

My Commitment to Decolonising Mental Health

As a queer, neurodivergent, feminist therapist who walks in deep relationship with spirit, land, and lineage, my work is grounded in intersectionality, decolonial practice, and reindigenised healing. I don’t just “accept” your identity—I centre it.

Whether you’re navigating trauma, identity, sexuality, neurodivergence, grief, burnout, or a sacred calling, you deserve a space that understands the systems you live within and the liberation you’re moving toward.

Let’s Heal Together

If you’ve been searching for a practitioner who honours your story and shares your commitment to freedom, I invite you to reach out.

Our healing is not just personal—it’s political. It’s ancestral. It’s sacred.

Let’s co-create a space where your truth is celebrated, your story is safe, and your liberation is central.